Mother's Day

Ahhh, the first one! I am so excited! It seems strange I know, but these five months have been the most amazing of my life. This little dude has stolen my heart and there is nothing strange about that. He has taught me more patience than the hundreds of children I have taught over the years, he has brought so much joy by just a smile. It is amazing to watch my son learn. To realize his hands can grasp, and his voice can make sound! I wish a Happy Mother's Day to all of you out there. I think back to all of the things people said before E was born. They are all so true. Thanks to all of you for being such an awesome support to us, and for loving him so much...this tiny piece of me that I will alway promise to do my best for.

I got this poem from a friend and it is so fitting:

Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys
or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not
my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind
and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child
so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night
watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because
I didn't want to put him down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small
could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know the feeling of
having my heart outside my body..
I didn't know how special it could feel
to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond
between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small
could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,
the joy,
the love,
the heartache,
the wonderment
or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much,
before I was a Mom .

My my my

Time sure flies...I was sitting here thinking about some things that I would like to blog about...then I realized that April was the last time. It is been so busy...as I told a friend today, I had to go back and apologize to people this week. I guess I am at one of those points where it is just better to not do as much interaction as I usually do. I tend to then express my feelings and not really worry about the rest of it. I keep telling myself just to hang out and this too shall pass. There is always work and school, sometimes it is more or less nuts than others. Right now I feel like I am just trying to keep my head up.

Spring is making its way. I really like that quiet drive home from work (when there are no crazy nutbags tailin' my ass) to just sort of take things in. The way the tulips make their way to bloom, and how some of the things are just starting to peek their way out. I could do with a little less rain, but gotta take what we can get. At least there is not 8 inches of snow on the ground.


The first day of spring is one thing, and the first spring day is another. The difference between them is sometimes as great as a month. ~Henry Van Dyke

Elliot is awesome, as I think most moms think about their kids. He is growing so fast and it is so intersting to me to watch and help him develop. I can't wait for him to be able to spend more time outside just exploring. He gets these new sounds and giggles that just keep changing as he learns more things. It is crazy to have a little sponge.

I should keep cleaning........

There is so much going on in the world, and some of it is completely scary, some is downright stupid and some of it just makes me feel so terrible. I am outraged by things that I see on the news or hear along the way.

I am outraged that there was a 4 month old child left on a daycare bus for 4 hours because of an "oversite." and get this...the daycare has two places, the other place just had a person get arrested for child abuse for breaking BOTH arms of a child. You have got to be joking. Most parents send their children to daycare because that is their only alternative. They do what they can to make the best choice. Put a little thought into the fact that you are handling someone elses precious cargo.

I am outraged at people who think it is ok to leave a baby in a bag, or a dumpster, or anywhere else that isn't appropriate. Drop them off somewhere safe if you are going to have them. There are plenty of people who will adopt, foster, etc. and then perhaps do something so that you don't get yourself in this situatio again! Good God, I cannot believe some of the situations.

Then there is the government, could you please step out of what I do in my freetime? Agencies want to tax non-diet soda because it causes obesity? That to me seems nuts. Grant it there are kids that probably drink too much, but hell let's just go for the diet too cause it has artificial sweeteners! Perhaps they are obese because they need to exercise, maybe they like being big, perhaps it is linked to their genetics? I don't know...

And the cigarette tax. Seriously? I know it's not good for you, but using it to help assist childrens health insurance? I am all for helping the kids, but I highly doubt that as I pay the $400 a month for my son to have insurance that I am going to see a governmental kickback from that. It all seems like robbing Peter to pay Paul and I know that I sound like a big huge beotch here, but you have got to be kidding!!

What about if some of the kids put down the sugary drinks (on the decision of the parents) and the Playstations and got the hell outside. Then they would have less of a chance of being obese and also would be a bit healthier!! What an f'n concept. (although then you have to worry about who is trying to entice your child into their car, or whether or not they will be safe when they are out and about in the neighborhood too though, but 6 of one and half a dozen of another??)

Silly taxes like these back in the day started a revolution....how about the goevernment just come into my house and cook for me? or perhaps they can ration what I do or don't do? It seems like such a joke. Put your concentrations where they need to be.

This picture is one that hangs in the house. I found it one day when I was cleaning the closet. Its kinda wrinkly and I know that I should take it to Walgreens or something and have them do something proper with it, but I like it how it is...kinda worn.

The idea of it being worn is that my dad was older when I was born...despite that, I think there were things, namely me, that kept him young. He was spry and didn't really take much shit from anyone...not me in this case. I was daddy's girl. I didn't have that ridiculous only child syndrome that people sometimes rant about, but I know how to work my way around my pops.

So this I found the other day that seemed fitting:

My Hero is the quiet type,

No marching bands, no media hype,
But through my eyes it's plain to see,
A hero, God has sent to me.

With gentle strength and quiet pride,
All self concern is set aside,
To reach out to our fellow man,
And be there with a helping hand.

Heroes are a rarity,
A blessing to humanity.
With all they give and all they do,
I'll bet the thing you never knew,
My quiet hero has always been you.

I figured I would sort of recycle aspects of this blog. It is one I had done elsewhere years ago. At the point that I wrote the blog my dad had been gone for 7 years. This year marks 9 that he hasn't been with us in person, but is always with us in spirit. Tuesday we will bring Elliot to the cemetary with us. He won't understand why we are there, but the lessons and love that I got from my dad will be passed down in the lessons and love that I show for my son. I remember that Spring Break like it was yesterday. The memory of my fathers passing is forever etched in my mind. There are always random discussions of bringing someone back if you could, even just for a short time...that would be my person. I know that as I gradute again here soon, that he would have been so proud. My promise to him continues to be fulfilled. That is that I will care for my mom and family, and always uphold the highest standards for myself in order to make him proud. If you had ever met him he left a mark...I was chatting with a friend the other day who said that Elliot looked like Izzy....pride swelled inside me.

Hurry up Spring!

Well, it is nice outside, I wouldn't say any where near hot, but it is a nice change to feel some warmth from the sun. I am getting tired of bundling up and warming up the car and ice.
Last year close to this time, this was us. My how things have changed!

It seems like a short span can create a whole different situation. In this picture, I was pregnant. I didn't really know it yet, but I was. My little dude is three months...Heather has her boy, and Erin is on the way to being a mom. Pete is in Costa Rica and Elena is in Portland...everyone doing what they need to do! Throughout the years we have all vacationed together...Naples, FL. Atlanta, New Orleans, Vegas....this year we are all sticking around home. Strange.

I am one week from being done with the classes I am taking. I am just excited to get the presentations out of the way and move on to something different that will take me the one step closer to graduation. The next round of classes are taught by a prof that I know will have me leaving the classes with a wealth of information. I am not paying the kind of money that I am to just "get through the program." I do truly want to take with me as much info as I can to make me a good administrator in whatever capacity that I end up in. It will also be kinda fun to say that I have two master's degrees!

My aunt came out of heart surgery and did really well. I stopped up to see her the other night and we went with Elliot last night because it was interesting how even when being attached to a respirator on Thursday, she wanted to know how the baby was doing. He is so smiley that she got him to give her a grin last night. It was good to see her up and walking and was so completely different from the time that my dad had bypass. It is sure amazing how technology and modern medicine have worked together to get people through things that are that strenuous on the body.

Baseball is starting! Yeah! I got my first set of tickets in the mail the other day.

I can blog

Well, It's not like I have lost the knack, but I think some of the time and creativity has disappeared out of my body. Work wise my mind thinks "state test" and its there all day. I am slightly fearful as to how things will go once the "push" for the test is gone. I am excited to teach some content and cater to things that enhance vocabulary and creativity because they are interesting. Don't get me wrong...the kids need to have this stuff, but NCLB has left us sort of in a lurch. Today I sat down to focus on my administrative philosophy. That is a process that takes some time. There is so much that I wanted to say, but I know that I am secure in my day to day philosophies, but to put those down on paper is sometimes a bit difficult.

Valentine's Day today.....millions of dollars spent on paper and candy. I am down with some candy, but I like the old fashioned homemade cards. I think they carry more sentiment. I am not totally sappy, but I heard the guy in the evil Wal-Mart..and if you know me, you know that I detest Wal-Mart. I avoid it at all cost and almost have to talk people into going there if I need something (today it was gift cards), but I digress. So the guy buying all the chocolate and cards is just bithcin about how women this and women that, and if you don't come home with it you're in trouble, etc. I don't know..maybe I am wierd about stuff or have spent many, ok most, Valentine's either alone or with someone that didn't see it as a big deal. You don't miss what you don't have right? So my question is...why is this such a big deal when you should be telling people everyday you love them? I don't know just a thought.

On that note.....Happy Valentine's Day! :)

time flies

So my little peanutter turned 2 months Friday. My how time flies! He is starting to smile and my mom says he giggles, but I have yet to hear it no matter how hard I try. I know it will happen soon enough. This was my fear with going back to work...my mom would get to see all the fun stuff first and then I just have to wait til it happens again. I guess when I consider everything, I wouldn't want him to be sharing all of that with a daycare lady, so grandma is good for me. They had a good first week together, so I was glad. I have to post a picture...

I love that my friends help me out with the parenting advice and give me little pointers. It is the unsolicited advice that I can do without. I know it sounds crummy, but how can you tell me what to do with a baby when you have never had one? Before Elliot, I just kept things to myself because it wasn't my place. I still don't offer anything unless I am asked.

I got the information for grad graduation! Woohoo! Only 3 1/2 more months and I am done. I am more concerned with getting people together for a cook out than the graduation, but it will be nice to don the cap and gown for what I think is the last time. Dr. Copen has a strange ring to it and a dissertation freaks me out! I am about to send in some info for a scholarship, so keep your fingers crossed that they deem me fit for it! Every bit helps :)

I don't want to say that Spring is anywhere near and jinx anything, but I really like that the gross nasty black snow is finally melting and according to the paper seems like it has the potential to go away completly in this next week. It was nice to feel heat from the sun yesterday.