Well, first off I want to wish you all a very Merry Christmas! I hope that it was filled with love and happiness. I was reading a friends blog about how we sometimes get selfish at the holidays and feel like we have to spend a ton to make people happy. I know that I have said it a few times, but there didn't have to be anything under my tree this year, or probably for the coming years. I got all that I wanted and stuck him in a santa hat!

For the first time in a long time, the spirit has come to my home. My family was here last night just hanging out, having some snacks and enjoying the time. That is, to me, what it should all be about. Today, I hung out with my mom and my son, took it easy and just took some time to be thankful.

My only regret is that I didn't get out to the cemetery. We started out there yesterday just to stop by my dad, but there was this woman who was in a car accident and by the time we had waited until the police arrived, Elliot was a bit fussy and tired of being in the car. While I do like to make it a point to stop out there, I know that the spirit of my dad is with us always, and I cannot wait to teach my son about what a respectful, caring and loving father he was. I hope that my son gets the traits of hard work, respect, humility, modesty and honesty that my dad had and passed on to me!

So again, I wish you all the good, love and peace that can be given to all of you, and I wish you a wonderful day!

It is so hard to believe that my little bird is just about two weeks old. What a life changing experience. It isn't tough to learn that things all of a sudden do not happen on my time, they happen on his. There are a lot of times that I am washing bottles or doing laundry, but he is sooo worth it.

People are still stopping by to meet him and say hello, and my friends have been great. Everyday is something new. I have a tough time putting him down, I just want to cuddle and hold him. It is so fun to see the new things that he learns from day to day. Like finding his thumb to suck on, or those strange baby smiles for whatever reason.

All is healing well. Due to the back surgery I had to be put all the way under so I wasn't the first to get him. My mom was. I am so glad to have the support that I do.

Hopefully today I can take the tree that has been in the stand for a couple of days and get some lights and ornaments on it. The snow hindered us yesterday, so with that being cleaned up, maybe some stuff can happen inside the house. I guess you learn to slow down and take things in because it is all so precious. I read in the paper of people who aren't taking care of their kids, or do bad things to them, and I look at my son and want to hold him closer to protect him always from the bad things. I don't understand how someone can do something so terrible to any other person...adult or child.

Christmas takes on a whole new meaning this year with this special gift....

Bored....

Yes, I am bored...I know that the standard sentence right now is to enjoy it while I can and rest, but geez. I do a little shopping for Christmas and I get kinda tired, but beyond that I have started a book, and I am watching way more T.V. than I ordinarily do. I don't like to be driving much and the ice on the sidewalks and such scares me. Goodness knows I'm kinda clumsy.

I guess tomorrow will be the teller as to when this is all going to happen. I didn't think that my back would be an issue, but the hypothesis seems to make sense. I met with the ob the other day and he was a really nice guy. I am hoping that if anything were to ever go down and I needed a doc like that, that he would take me. It appears that he more than likely will come c-section, which is fine. I don't know that the laying and the threat of a nonworking epidural is a fate I want to tempt.

Maybe today I will try to clean out my trunk. The stroller I have is gigantic...It's like a cesna for a baby.

It was strange...yesterday we ran into a woman who had a 7 week old..her sons name was Elliott. I'm not sure how it is spelled, but it was ironic. It really made me want to hold my Elliot. This has been a road of greatness, and I am so thankful for the miracle that I am about to get. It is so hard to express it. It might be that my mind and body are all jacked up, and I know I am slightly more emotional than normal, but this is my dream come true and I am excited to meet him.

Yeah, Thanksgiving!

I love Thanksgiving. It was so fun to cook with my mom last night. We always use my grandmas recipe for stuffing. I made it this year, so I guess you could say the torch was passed. It is strange to think that this is the last holiday that we go from two people to three again.
I remember the last Thanksgivings with my dad, and wow, do I wish we still had him here to bark the orders and speak the truth! There is no little one yet, but the time is ticking down. It would have been something to have pictures of my dad with his grandson.

It is strange and shouldn't happen where you sit down and think about what you are thankful for on one given day...unfortunately I am just as guilty as a lot of folks. At this stage of the game, I am so thankful for my family and friends, that I have a roof over my head, a job that keeps me sustained and this wonderful gift on the way. I am keeping my fingers crossed that maybe he will be a birthday present. Who could ask for anything better!

I wish everyone that comes across this a wonderful Thanksgiving spent with people that you care about.

So it is a little blurry, but it is mine! :) Only a couple more weeks left and thank goodness. These randoms pains can catch me off guard at times. I guess it is all part of the getting ready process. I have one more ultrasound on the 24th to measure fluids and such. I will have a bag ready by then just in case. Apparently if your numbers don't add up, they don't let you leave.

My work folks are so great. There is one more shower on Monday. I am really excited. This week can sort of start the official countdown to my leave. I have never liked having a sub because it is so much work. This still holds true, but at least I know she is great!

I gave my mom some quick camcorder lessons the other night. Let's hope she remembers. I can see my son being put on dvd with his grandma's finger in the frame. :) I am sure she will do great. If anything, the thought and consideration is there.

Last night was a first....I had to run out at quarter til nine because I wanted one of those Betty Crocker molten cakes that you put in the micro. I would have to say that it surprised even me! It was damn good though :)

This is how big I feel, but not nearly as cute as I look. I think the countdown can begin really. Parent Teacher conferences are out of the way...that was a feat in and of itself. I like to keep a lot on my plate and I think that is what has made this go quickly, but I won't lie...I am ready for some of this responsibility to come to an end. It makes me happy to think that with that happening there will be a different set of responsibility...my baby!

The election has come, and I have found myself in more discussions than I guess I would care to be, but I think that it is important to be informed and see what happens. At this point the deed is done and hopefully it is not full of empty political promises.

I found out that I have a great substitute teacher coming in for me. We have worked together on a few occasions and she is wonderful. There is nothing like knowing you kids are in good hands.

We got a bit of sleet here last night. It was odd because the days prior to it were 70's and 60's. Welcome to Wisconsin. I am dreading a heavy coat and such, but I love the first snowfall when everything sticks to the trees and looks fresh.

Fall....

I wish it were just one pretty little leave hanging out in my yard...but no, there are thousands, compounded by the wind that I decided needed to be picked up today. It started with some little last minute yard tasks and escalated to mowing and leave sucking. 5 bags later I realized that I am too dang stubborn. That is really not something that I would advise at 8+ months pregnant. The baby is mad at me, and so is my body. The ultra sad part is when you look outside, not only is it in the low 40's, but the leaves are covering the yard again...how futile is that?

So it has been a bit. My shower was amazing and beautiful and I am so thankful that we are so loved. My family on my dad's side all came and that was fantastic. My dad passed almost 9 years ago, but everyone still keeps in touch and they are so happy for us. All of my friends came out, and everyone was so generous. This baby is so loved already! I can't forget to mention that the cake was incredible. I'll plug Lovin' Oven cause they did a hell of a job! I usually don't even like cake..but this...yum! :)

So there is about 5 weeks left. I get to have another ultrasound the first week of November to check the baby's size. They will also start doing non-stress tests twice a week just to monitor. Apparently when he doesn't seem happy to be in there anymore and isn't moving as they want him to be, they will look to delivery. It is crazy the things that they can do these days.

The first quarter of school is about under my belt, and there are about three weeks left of the grad class...I have been doing well with keeping it together so the hope I have is that I can continue to do so! Here's to hoping!

Sad state of affairs

While I don't tie up all my money in the market, it is nuts what is going on. There was an article in the paper this morning that said the govt. wants to start looking into the management of banks. Are you serious? I think that the places they have had their hands in lately have been severely unsuccessful....AIG what? I don't know how to fix it, or I would be making the big bucks that all the people in or near Washington D.C. are making. All of this talk of helping the little man...the people who make less than $250,000 a year makes me nauseous. I don't know that they care about the middle class, or whatever they are being called right now. I know that there are parts of me that fear for my unborn child. Will he have to pay a million to head to college? Will there be resources available for him? Hopefully I can teach enough responsibility and management that he won't decide somewhere down the road to put himself in a $400,000 home if he can only afford one that is $150,000. Responsibilty has to start somewhere and we are not about keeping up with the Jones's.

On a different but similar note, 8 months is right around the corner and so is the baby shower. I am so excited to see everyone and everything. I am so lucky and blessed to have the people in my life that I do. It comes down to a simple thank you being enough, but it never feels like enough. I only know what goes around comes around...

I can't wait to meet my baby. I got a camcorder the other day so I am all ready to get the goods on tape!

I have been thinking about this situation since last night around ten...it makes me so angry that someone could be so stupid and have such utter disregard for someone else. To the guy in the car that I hardly saw...your a jackass. I wonder if there is a lesson here somewhere, but somehow I doubt it.

So last night heading to a wake, which isn't really a great thing anyway, I am driving down a side street that has a 25 mile an hour speed limit. I was probably doing 30. I wasn't the one that had the stop sign, jackass did. I didn't see him being followed by any cops, which in that case, I might have understood the speed. He was doing about 60. Yup, right through the stop sign. He missed us be a foot if that. I just can't get out of my head how that would have looked had something not been on my side there, because we were being looked out for, there is no doubt about that. I wanted to just turn around and go home. Some people....

So I head to the doc today to see what she has to say about this gestational diabetes thing. I don't think that she will say that it went away or anything, but there might be something good on the horizon.

Two of my very good friends are getting married this weekend. I am excited to see my friend that is in town from Georgia. I know these guys all clean up well. I'm sure it will be beautiful. I am so happy that Jeremy found someone so great for him!

What an interesting week. The Brewers seem as though they have lost their wild card spot. Last night when I saw the score against the Reds I was shocked and saddened. There was also that issue with the Cubs. It really sucks going into work when they are winning due to all of those Cubs fans. I love my people to death, but man....cut me some slack. One of my friends came into my class and put a Go Cubs! sign on the T.V...yup, at this point, Go Cubs. They might as well try to get out of their 1,000 year series slump. :)

People sometimes make me nuts. There is this person that I know and what a pain in the ass. It's passive-aggressive drama that reminds me of one of my ex's and in turn makes me cringe. I know they have to co-exist, but could you do it elsewhere please? It brings about more stress than I would care to have right now. Thanks!

So......I was told the other day that I have a mild case of the gestational diabetes. I will listen and do what I am told, but the lady that I dealt with the other day was not pleasant. I felt like I was being talked down to and I am not sure why. I understand the education part, as an educator myself, but good grief lady, I'm not the 13 year old you are talking to me like. Anyway, I have been taking the blood sugar 4 times a day because that is what I am told to do. It looks good according to their number system. I hope it stays like that...maybe it was a Labor Day fluke seeing as I went on that Monday after hanging out and grilling and such. Who knows. For the sake of the little one, I'll follow directions. It seems as though he will be coming the last week of November. According to the insurance, they have to induce first, but the thought is that it will end up being a c-section. I've been cut before so I am not sweating that. I just want to meet my baby. My mom and I also have a birthday that week, so that will make it pretty fun to share the same week with my son, and my mom with her grandson.

Another week situated...it is hard to get back into the swing of school and this meeting with that person, and that meeting with this person..I prefer when I don't have to consult a calendar, as I am sure most of us feel the same way.

I was talking to a friend about dreams last night and what the heck they all mean...last night I had a dream that there was a bear outside of my dentist's office. He wasn't really looking to attack, more like lying there like a dog would. Odd!

Grad schools starts back up next week and Wednesday will make the 7th month of this little critter growing inside me. Sometimes I feel completely overwhelmed, but most of the time I just can't wait to meet him. My cousin is one of the most thoughtful people I know...every time she comes over it seems like she has picked up yet another cute thing for the baby. My kid will be stylin'!

Seems as though the rains have come this weekend. It is fine with me because then I am not forced to do things quickly, which I am totally ok with.

F you telemarketers...I am on the no call list! What the heck is up with these people...They call until 9 P.M. The last thing I want to do at the end of the day is pick up the phone, and I certainly don't want you to be the first people that I speak with in the morning....

Getting there....

Time just keeps passing and passing....now that I have started back to work, it is going faster and that is hard to believe.

The house is getting back in order...fresh paint, carpet, curtains and new look makes it have a different feel. It was funny, I had a friend the other day that said you have to make it nice so the baby can mess it up :)

I have a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that there will soon be a baby wandering around. It was interesting, I was reading something on a forum where a person had stated that getting married and having babies is what society says that people should do, and because it says that, people do. What the hell happened to people wanting to do things for themselves? I certainly don't follow a societal norm...by any means. I can't stand the generalizations put out there. There are some people who make their decisions based on what they want, not what other people want for them. If a life of academia is what you want, then do it...because you have no maternal instinct, then I am far from the person to tell you how to go about your life. I stewed in this for a while and then figured the only person I was angering was myself.

I am trying to teach the kids about elections. We are looking at platforms and what it means to be a good leader. I would like to see them doing a bit more to challenge themselves in the arena of reading and writing. The only way you can become informed is by doing that and speaking to people. Unfortunately, I think that if you speak to people you will often times get their opinion rather than learning to form one of your own. We'll see....

For Whom the Bell Tolls:Entry for July 30, 2008

Seems like there are transitions taking place all over. I have some friends that got an offer accepted on a house that they really like! Yeah for them. We are all going through some scary times that will transpire in a very positive way, but the steps of the process are large. I am losing my patience with swollen feet and dreams that are so jacked up that I have to get up at 6 A.M. even though I would prefer not to. The number of things changing on a daily basis amaze me. I have also realized that taking out carpet is not as easy as it looks. You would think that it is just a couple of cuts, rip it out, sweep and clean......no......it's a hell of a lot more than that. The bright side is that it is out! Went to a wake and funeral the other day. As I was sitting there I could not get the idea of extended family out of my head. It is large and I am glad, but the generations have just slowly slipped away. In the same token, they left what I would consider legacies. Not necessarily the ones that have made gigantic impacts on the whole world, but stories that we continue to speak on and ways that we manage to carry on traditions and things that we have learned from one generation on to the next. I am not Catholic by any means, but was at the mass the other day...I'm curious and it may sound naive in regards to questioning religion...I have always found the scripted mass different. Different in a sense that people say, "Lord hear our prayers." Isn't the idea behind God that he doesn't need to be reminded to listen and hear? Just a thought.

July 24, 2008

From Gagne to Sabathia, I think that the Brewers finally got it right! I hope that it makes next Wednesdays game interesting! It was nice to glance in the paper and see that we scooted to the number 2 spot. We will see what tonight brings.

I'm working on this big paper for one of my classes and just learned the way that some standardized test scores are calculated. I think that folks might be on crack when I look at the formulas involved. It is also troubling to think about how you would explain it to a parent. I guess it is a good that that we rely on meets/exceeds/does not meet.

Picked out some carpet yesterday, so the ball is rolling as far as I am concerned....hopefully I can get it up and out with minimal issues. I know that some might be thinking...should I be doing it? I know I know....but I am going to try.

There are only a few short weeks until school starts back...I don't know that I want to consider it, but I know that I have to.

July 20, 2008

It seems like it has been a while since I have done this..there is no seems about it, it is the truth. I had a nice little blog the other week, but yahoo has some "issue" and there you have it, it was gone. Was a I shocked? No..but I sure as hell wasn't going back to do it again. Thanks guys!

It's really hard to believe that the summer is going by so quickly. There is so much to do that sometimes I get overwhelmed as to where to even start. There is a starting point, and it has been started, but then I have to walk away. I know that it will all work out, I just want it to work out faster...

So Wednesday is the 5 month mark...hard to believe that things are going so fast. I am so excited to have this baby that I can't even put it into a lot of words. I was at a wedding last night and was talking to some family. We were reminiscing about my dad and the kind of man that he was. I hope that I can take those qualities of a person and pass them on to my person. Integrity and respect will get you far. If people don't have to question your character and where you stand on things, that's not a bad deal either. My assumption is that parents do the best they can and hope that the outcome is a great one. I too hope for greatness. I know that it is what I will model for my child.

Just to add...I took this picture months and months ago on a long foggy trip home from Rhinelander....it's my photo genius at work! haha!